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Maybe I don't have it anymore . Hang on, let me try that again...
Ok, I think I've got it.
It's really hard, actually, to get back into the rhythm of writing one of these. I've struggled to come up with anything and the one time I did get a bit of a flow going I realised after half an hour that I'd already told that story. It's possible that my memory is even worse than I keep claiming it is on here.
Anyway, after long consideration I decided to ease my way back in with an easy one. A short one. A 'let's get this over with so I can get back to watching Parks and Rec' one. So I decided that I'm going to treat you all to another taste of my ridiculous abortive attempts at writing fiction. Last time we went down this road I showed you a short story I started late one night and never went back to, but this time I have something else in mind. Yes, I'm going to show you a piece of a script I started writing, many moons ago. You lucky lucky people you.
So without further ado, I give you scene two of Nine Tenths.
INT. PLANE cabin. day
The Pilot, DAVID LEE, and the Co-Pilot, SIMON NELSON, are in their seats preparing for take off. Checking instruments, flicking switches etc. DAVID is a handsome black man in his late 30's, tall, fit, obviously someone who looks after himself. SIMON is the exact opposite; short, balding, beer belly.
You reckon we'll get a chance to see the sights this trip then? Or is it gonna be another cot at an airfield job.
You know the score mate. He doesn't like to hang around once his business is done so we need to be around as and when.
Yeah, yeah. I just wish he'd slow down a bit. I've flown to more countries since I hired on with him than I did with BA and I've not seen more than a concrete shack and a few trees in any of them. I became a pilot to see the world, you know.
Not for the women then?.
Well, them an'all.
The door to the cabin opens and SARAH NAISMITH, an attractive blonde in her late 20's, dressed in business attire, steps in, bearing cups of coffee.
Here you are fellas, thought you'd be ready for these.
The two men accept them gratefully
Haven't you got enough to do as his Lordships PA, without sniffing around the hostess' job?
Tell me about it. Kelly called me, all of 10 minutes ago mind, to say that she's stuck in traffic and won't be making the flight. There's no time to call anyone else in so muggins here has got to bite the bullet. As per. This isn't what I had in mind when I took this job.
The men laugh and after a moment SARAH joins in.
I know, I'm a moany cow. It's just that this job was supposed to be a stepping stone you know? I thought once he saw what I could do, he'd give me a shot at something more.
Oh well, back to the grindstone. Oh yeah, meant to say, he's bringing the family on this one, so you'll probably be getting a visit from the little one at some point. That a problem?
Nah, she's always welcome. Just as long as she doesn't bring that other one with her. For someone standing to inherit millions, she can be a proper moody bastard
She's alright. She's just got a lot on her plate that's all.
Yeah, must be a tough life.
Look, you'd be surprised, alright. She's not had it as easy as you might think. Anyway, I'd better get back. See you later alright.
Yeah, see ya.
SARAH leaves the cabin and the door closes behind her.
Touched a nerve there mate.
Ah, bollocks to it.
And that's the end of scene three of Nine Tenths. It would have been a cracker as I'm sure you can tell. Alas, my inability to finish anything I start means that no-one will ever know.
See you next time when I will, hopefully, actually have a story from my past to share with you all. Until then, bollocks to ya.